story of my life.
I'm gonna make this a daily thing. something to entertain me.
since it has been a month since i posted this, a lot has gone down. wait, that's a lie. some significant occurrences have had happened, not that many though.
i'd been keeping up on my running, 3 times a week as my C25K plan dictated. The 2.5 and 2.75 miles were hard when i hadn't been eating as well as i needed to. none of that quite matters since i sprained my ankle at work on sat. august 29. gosh, it was probably the single most painful injury that i can clearly remember. it's been a few days, the swelling has gone down significantly, it's just a disgusting blue-green all around my ankle. walking is kinda painful but i'm doing it. i just hope it's nothing major. i could go to the doctor but i just can't decide if i should.
since i can't run because of my ankle, i am going a little stir crazy. I have sat with my foot up for the last few days. i really need to get out and do something, no one is available and i just....gah.
i am over many aspects of my life right now. my friends do the same activities all the time. there's only the same places to go, same people to see. i need something new.
new people, new places, new activities, new job, new scenery, new attitude.
i know what sort of person i want to be, i just don't know what i want to do with my life. i know all sorts of jobs i don't want to do:
- no restaurants (if possible, i can if i must)
- no sales (i HATE quotas)
- no corporate jobs (i don't like corporate policies, again if i must and like it: i will)
what i like to do:
- work with people
- creativity
- deadlines
- read and dissemble
- be busy with real work
where i am just doesn't seem to have what i want. i'm always seeing the same people. i can't seem to meet new people. i suppose i should get outside of my comfort zone and go out on a limb, to be cliche about it. i've just lost all interest in new people here. pathetic, i know.
i suppose i thought making changes to myself would bring new people to me, that hasn't happened yet. most likely due to the fact that i really haven't changed any of my patterns. just added a few, it's kinda hard to meet new people when your running around your neighborhood with an iPod going. ah well.
i am going to move early next year. i just need to make a decision as to where. i'm sure i will keep an ongoing commentary on the plans here. right now it's between:
- Seattle
- Boulder
- Chicago
- and CA somewhere
how the hell am i going to afford living any of these places? that really is the question. i know i can get a job, any job i want, i get if i had an interview.
so this is what's going on in my life right now. I am in a state of flux that seems to be stagnant at the same time. dichotomous or oxymoronic? yes. I want the change, i just seem to be getting more of the same. I need to figure out what it is that is in my way and handle it. i want to move forward, i want change. hell, i want someone who cares about me for me. i'm ready world. i want to be a grownup.
it's time for an attitude adjustment.
it's time for me to to let go of my fears.
it's time for me live.
it's time for me to be me....all the time.
to quote katy perry, "i think i'm ready for it."
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