an impasse on imposing

Dictionary.com defines the word impose as:
im⋅pose [im-pohz] verb, -posed, -pos⋅ing.–verb (used with object)

1. to lay on or set as something to be borne, endured, obeyed, fulfilled, paid, etc.: to impose taxes.
2. to put or set by or as if by authority: to impose one's personal preference on others.
3. to obtrude or thrust (oneself, one's company, etc.) upon others.

well, there are 5 other definitions beyond that, but with number 3 we have a winner

i always feel that i am imposing on people. i don't have the slightest idea where i got this from but it's a bugger to get rid of. i am so unbelievably shy when with a group of people i don't know or even just one person. in group situations i cling to the one person i know as if they'll save me from drowning or making a fool of myself.

talk about imposing?!

it's even worse when i happen to like that person. and when that person you like isn't the easiest to read... god, makes it even more difficult.

who'd want to be around someone who's afraid that they will be judged by others? i know it's just something in my head, unless of course my perception of people is really off. it's just so hard to get past your own personal demons of self doubt.

not knowing where i stand with new people is what makes things so difficult for me. are we friends? acquaintances? do we talk to each other only in social situations (aka bars, parties, etc.). the advent of facebook and other social networking sites really doesn't help me here. the lines are totally blurred.

i know one of the reasons i am unwilling to put myself out there is because i could get hurt. i know that's one of the main reasons everyone is afraid to put themselves out there. I just seem to invest myself too far to fast. you wouldn't be able to tell though, i'm not too easy to read myself.

i almost wish i was a cocky bitch and could brush things off. but i'm not. that's something i don't think i will ever be. there's this loving and caring person in me who just wants to love everybody and be loved in return. i know this really isn't likely, but i don't see this changing anywhere in the near future.

maybe that's why we have dogs. someone to love us even when we hate ourselves. without mine i would be lost.